The ultimate guide to being a Nigerian class captain
Being a class captain in Nigeria is not just about carrying pen and piece of paper to write names of noise makers every time. You need to learn how to be the most annoying person in the world while also being the most loved person in your class at the same time. So, if you have a junior sibling or you want your children to become class captains in future, then this is all you need to excel at your job.
1. Never stop squeezing your face
This is the first trick every class captain must learn. The moment you resume on duty, you must not stop squeezing your face. You know na, you want all your classmates to know that you are now responsible and the destiny of a great kingdom rests on your shoulders.
2. Act surprised whenever a teacher praises you
Are you even a class captain if teachers don’t praise you above every of your mates. Then it is your job to act like you didn’t expect the praises.
3. How you wait for people to make noise when you are writing names
When the teacher asks you to write a list of noise makers and all of a sudden, the whole class became quiet. Then you start using your side eye to look for anyone who is breathing loudly.
4. You staying on your own when it is time for break because you have betrayed all your friends
If you can conquer this feeling of loneliness without your friends, you are about to become one of those guys that always post about being alone on WhatsApp.
5. Your best friend when his name appears in the list of noise makers
The best friend of the class captain is always the noise maker that never gets caught. You can make as much noise as you want and never get caught.